Fic: Old Friends
Dec. 29th, 2006 11:37 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
boy-named-susie.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
crossoverficTitle: Old Friends
Author:![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
boy_named_susie
Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Harry Potter
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
Characters: Gilderoy Lockhart, Buffy, Angel, Giles, Cordelia, Xander, Willow
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart goes to visit an old friend and chaos ensues in Sunnydale.
Written foremmagrant01 for the btvs_santa exchange.
This is my first fic, so feedback is appreciated.
Gilderoy Lockhart was frustrated. How was he supposed to maintain his image as a wizard extraordinaire, with gorgeous smile to match, when he had no new material for his next book? Yes, he had secured the illustrious position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher at Hogwarts, but teaching children how to fend off pixies, which to be honest, he wasn’t that great at, was hardly going to help him win his sixth straight Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award. Of course, Lockhart thought, he didn’t need to do much to win again, as he did possess the most charming smile of anyone he had ever met.
Still, celebrity is celebrity, and Lockhart had no desire to be forgotten by his adoring public while he was buried away at Hogwarts. What he needed was a new book, and as he sat in his office, he pondered his options. Dragons were definitely out. He couldn’t afford to end up with singed hair, not that he would ever get close enough to one for such a travesty to occur. He’d already written about exploits with trolls and ghouls, so they were crossed off his list. Problem was, being at Hogwarts made it awfully difficult to find a poor soul who’d had any sort of interesting adventures that he could credit as his own after firing off one of his patented memory charms.
“What to do, what to do…” he muttered with growing annoyance. Then it hit him. It was so off the wall it just might work. And with holidays coming up, he could certainly get away from school for a few weeks without a problem. It would be a perfect opportunity to pay a visit to his childhood friend Rupert Giles, now living in America, and according to his mother, had recently been promoted, having received a slayer of his very own.
* * * * *
Lockhart and Giles had spent much of their childhood together. The two had been next-door neighbors, and although a wizard family would not usually have associated with a non-wizard family, the Gileses weren’t exactly muggles either. They were part of a long line of watchers, and as such, were not completely blind to the world of magic. There was a great deal of respect between the Watcher’s Council and the Ministry of Magic. Each performed their separate function and didn’t meddle in the other’s affairs. The Watchers oversaw the Slayer and took care of the special problem of vampires and other demons that hunted the human race, while the Ministry of Magic dealt solely with the problems facing the wizarding community.
As a part of this special heritage, Lockhart had been allowed to play with Giles, and the two had been great friends. Once the boys had been sent off to separate schools at the age of eleven, they had seen much less of each other, as each was groomed for their respective careers as a wizard and a watcher, but, Lockhart thought, this just might be the perfect time for them to renew their acquaintance. Surely overseeing a slayer fight off vampires would have gifted Giles with plenty of material that would prove quite interesting for Lockhart’s next bestseller. And hey, even if his visit resulted in the poor man losing his memory, Lockhart knew for a fact that the Watcher’s Council had plenty of spare watchers so the Slayer wouldn’t be left alone for long.
* * * * *
“Buffy, could you please try to concentrate? I would think that the knowledge that William the Bloody, or Spike, as he’s also known, is running amuck in Sunnydale, making you his prime target, would make you more focused on your slaying than on what you are going to be wearing to a dance.” Giles sighed, exasperated.
“Sorry Giles,” Buffy giggled, as she glanced slyly at Willow. “But you’d think that you of all people would understand the importance of looking good at the winter formal. I mean, after all, Ms. Calendar is going to be there chaperoning.”
“That’s right,” Willow piped up. “We should probably be discussing what Giles is wearing for the dance. Of all of us, I think he needs the most help.”
“Please,” Cordelia sneered as she walked into the library. “There isn’t one of you that doesn’t have a major case of fashion disaster. Willow, I wouldn’t even trust you to help a blind man get dressed.”
“So glad you could join us, Cordelia. We were all afraid that a whole day would pass without getting to hear one of your clever insults.” Xander replied.
“Enough!” Giles practically shouted. “We need to be serious and concentrate. We have a grave situation to deal with. And that situation does not involve dresses, makeup, or anything else relating to school dances. There is a very deadly and violent vampire that has set up headquarters here, and if half of what I’ve read about him is true, you are in for a very difficult fight, Buffy, and you need to be prepared.
“Okay, Giles, point taken, I just think…” Buffy was cut off abruptly by a loud cracking sound followed by the appearance of a man dressed in a blue suit, who simply materialized out of thin air. “What the…” she trailed off, mouth gaping.
“Wh-where did he come from?” Xander stuttered.
“It’s a form of travel called apparition young man,” the stranger replied with a smooth English accent. “It is a kind of teleportation, commonly used by wizards such as myself.” The man looked around, spotting Giles instantly. “Ah, Rupert, how nice to see you again,” Lockhart proclaimed, smiling that patented smile of his that drove female witches crazy.
“Gilderoy, how are you?” Giles stammered, clearly taken by surprise. “And what are you doing here? I don’t think I’ve seen you since we were boys.”
“Well, I heard you had been promoted, given your own slayer and moved to California. I thought I would come look you up, and of course, make sure that you had ample copies of all my books on your shelves.” Lockhart said as he glanced around the library.
“You know this guy Giles?” Buffy asked.
“Buffy, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, this is…” Giles started but was cut off by a flourish from Lockhart.
“Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League; and five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award.” Lockhart rattled off as he made a deep bow, making sure to end with the aforementioned smile.
“Wow, those are quite some… accomplishments?” Buffy guessed.
“So he’s not just a badly dressed man wearing a cape. He’s also a lunatic. Great.” Cordelia muttered.
“Oh those are just a few of my many accomplishments my dear,” Lockhart continued, ignoring Cordelia. “I have also recently taken the sought-after post of Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And in furtherance of educating my dear pupils, I thought I would pay a visit to my dear old friend Rupert to learn about the ins and outs of slaying vampires. It’s a bit archaic to be teaching wizards in training, but I thought I should give my students a well-rounded education, including all facets of defense against the dark arts, demons, vampires, and similar beasts.”
“Your dear old friend Rupert?” Xander questioned.
“Why yes, Rupert and I grew up together, but we were each bound to take our separate paths, myself to become a world famous wizard, saving hoards of people with my amazing wizarding skills, writing best-selling books detailing my many exploits, and of course, being the most handsome wizard with the best smile, while Rupert went on to fulfill his destiny of becoming a watcher.” Lockhart beamed back at the teen.
Buffy turned to Giles with raised eyebrows. “Well maybe you and your dear old friend would like to go catch up. You guys can discuss all the good old times you had playing in your sandbox while wearing matching baby blue suits and the rest of us can finish our plans for the dance.”
“Now hold on Buffy we have a lot of research that still needs to be done.” Giles responded.
“Oh, I have no desire to interrupt anything important you have to do.” Lockhart interjected. “Please carry on. I can busy myself signing the copies of my books that I’m sure Rupert has on the shelves in abundance while you finish your research. I would, however, be honored if you could take me out later and show me just how slaying works.”
“You know, Gilderoy, I’m quite sure we could use your expertise in our current situation.” Giles quickly responded, knowing full well that he didn’t have a single copy of any of Lockhart’s books on the shelves. “And Buffy would love to take you out with her tonight when she goes hunting.”
“I would?” Buffy started, surprised. “You know, Giles, slaying isn’t really a group activity. It’s more of a slayer-vampire activity, and since Mr. Lockhart is neither…”
“Buffy, I’m sure Gilderoy can quite hold his own with a vampire. If half of his exploits detailed in his books are true, he should prove to be quite a valuable asset to you. In fact, he might even be able to teach you a thing or two.”
“Well fine, that’s all settled. Rupert, I’ll stop by your house around seven and we can have a bit of a reunion dinner and then afterwards, Buffy and I will head out to the field.” And with that, there was a loud crack and Lockhart disappeared.
“Geez,” Cordelia asked, “don’t you people know anyone normal?”
* * * * *
As Lockhart sat in Giles’s home, listening to Giles explain how Buffy had fought the Master, died, been brought back to life, and then finally defeated him, Lockhart felt like he’d struck gold. This was going to be his best selling book to date, thanks to the truth serum he’d taken from Snape’s private supply and dropped in Giles’s drink when he wasn’t looking. Giles had quickly and happily answered every question Lockhart had asked, and Lockhart was starting to think that he’d maybe have enough material for two books. Even better, at the rate Giles was spilling secrets about his slayer’s battles, it was looking like Lockhart would get just what he needed at this dinner, could wipe Giles’s memory clean, and take off before the slayer showed up to take him hunting, saving him the trouble of having to actually take the chance of running into a real vampire. Just then the doorbell rang, and Giles got up to answer it.
“Hey Giles,” Buffy greeted him and stepped into the living room.
“Buffy, Angel.” Giles stepped aside to let them enter.
“Uh, Giles, are you going to invite me in?” Angel asked.
“Oh yes, of course, how remiss of me. Come in.” Giles responded.
Rising from his seat, Lockhart demanded, “And why do you, kind sir, need a special invitation? Are you some kind of celebrity?” Lockhart was always on the lookout for meeting fellow celebrities, though in Lockhart’s humble opinion, no star shown quite so bright as his own.
Looking sideways at Buffy, Angel responded, “Well, it’s the whole vampire thing. You know, stake to the heart, can’t walk in the sunlight, and can’t enter a person’s home without an invitation.”
“You’re a vampire?!” Lockhart was shocked. Weren’t Giles and the girl supposed to be killing vampires, not consorting with them? He must have them under some sort of a spell Lockhart thought. His thrall, that’s what it is. Lockhart wondered if the Watcher’s Council had any idea that their Watcher and Slayer were being controlled by a vicious vampire. No matter, he thought. Gilderoy Lockhart was there, and for once, he might actually do something himself that would be worthy of writing about in his next book.
“I will exorcise you both from this fiend’s evil spell!” Lockhart shouted as he pulled out his wand and pointed it at Angel’s head. However, before he could begin uttering a single word, of what spell he wasn’t really quite sure, Buffy was at his side, wrestling the wand out of his grip.
“Hold your horses John Wayne. You know, in order to save someone, it helps for them to actually be in trouble.” Buffy stated as she pocketed Lockhart’s wand.
“This monster has you under his thrall; you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lockhart retorted. “I have done some elementary research on vampires and I know the only reason they associate with humans is for feeding purposes or to turn them.”
“No, really, Angel’s okay. He has a gypsy curse.” Buffy stated matter-of-factly, as if that explained everything.
“The curse restored his soul, Gilderoy,” Giles further expanded on Buffy’s rather cursory statement. “He helps us out, and he’s also Buffy’s boyfriend.” Giles rushed out the last part, trying to gloss it over.
“A slayer in love with a vampire? Interesting.” Lockhart replied, as he inwardly screamed, literary goldmine! His female readers would go crazy when they read all about his torrid but ultimately doomed love affair with a female vampire with a soul. This trip was turning out to be more productive that Lockhart had ever imagined.
* * * * *
“So does this guy seem a bit strange to you?” Buffy whispered to Angel as they walked to the cemetery. Lockhart and Giles trailed behind them, with Lockhart telling endless stories about the time he spent in Prague fighting dragons.
“Not any stranger than any other wizard I’ve met.” Angel responded. “Why?”
“I just have this nagging feeling about this guy. I know he’s an old friend of Giles’s, and his story seems legit. It just seems so odd that he shows up out of nowhere, wanting to learn about slaying vampires. Plus his smile kinda gives me the wiggins.”
“Not the famous award winning smile.” Xander feigned shock, as he and Willow joined Angel and Buffy.
“The very one.” Buffy replied.
“Well I think his smile is nice.” Willow said. “And I found a copy of his biography, Magical Me. It’s really interesting. Did you know that he once was attacked by and fought 6 mountain trolls single handedly?”
“No, but I know that he just tried to ‘exorcise’ me from Angel’s spell.” Buffy joked, and then explained what had occurred.
“I’m sure that was probably just an accident. It’s not like you meet many vampires with souls.” Willow said.
Buffy was about to respond when she was interrupted by loud cry. She took off running in the direction from which it came, the others following closely behind. She quickly dusted the vampire she found preying on a young woman when she heard Spike’s voice.
“Aww, if it isn’t the Slayer and her wandering band of misfits.” Spike leered. Noticing Lockhart, he continued, “So who’s this then? Are you so pathetic at slaying that you need two watchers? Or has lover boy Angel been given his own as a reward for being such a goody-two-shoes disgrace of a vampire?”
“Spike, just who I was hoping to run into this evening.” Buffy retorted. “I have a stake that conveniently has your name on it.”
“Too bad you won’t be using it.” Spike proclaimed as he grabbed Lockhart, who had been standing the closest to him, and held him by the throat. “Let’s say we play a game tonight. It’s called Watch the Watcher Die.”
“Not a watcher, not a watcher.” Lockhart babbled uncontrollably with fear. He peered at Spike’s face out of the corner of his eyes and watched in horror as his face turned, showing the demon within. “Not a watcher,” Lockhart mumbled one last time before everything went black and he fainted.
* * * * *
When he woke up, Lockhart was laying on the ground with Willow, Xander, and Giles hovering over him. “Wh-what happened?” he stammered.
“You were attacked by Spike. Buffy saved you, and then Spike ran off. She and Angel are off looking for him.” Willow answered.
“You’re very lucky to be alive, Gilderoy. Spike is one of the nastiest vampires we’ve come across.” Giles added.
“Yes, well, that was why I pulled off that fake fainting spell back there. Figured I’d get out of the Slayer’s way and let her do her job.” Lockhart blustered, trying to make himself seem like less than a coward than he’d been.
“Fake, huh?” Xander stated as he raised his eyebrows and looked at Lockhart in disbelief. “Then why didn’t you come to ten minutes ago when Spike took off?”
“Well, you see, I have always been a serious actor and I feel that if you are going to act out anything, even something simple and mundane, do it with gusto and bravado. Think of the Bard.” Lockhart blustered on, trying to save a shred of his dignity.
“Well you achieved your goal with that performance then.” Willow said, trying to make Lockhart feel better and pointedly giving Xander a “shut up” look.
“Why don’t we get Gilderoy back to my place so he can rest for a bit?” Giles interceded, helping Lockhart up.
“Good idea,” Willow responded as the four set off.
* * * * *
The next morning Lockhart sat with his head in his hands in the school library. It was 4 am, so the place was deserted. Lockhart kept running over the events of the previous day in his mind. Collect amazing stories of defeating vampires for his next book. Check. Receive wonderful inspiration for a book about a love affair with a female vampire, something which would drive his book sales through the roof and cement his celebrity status forever. Check. Completely embarrass himself by fainting when coming face to face with a vampire. Check. There was just no way around it. He couldn’t let word of his disgrace get out. It would ruin him. He was going to have to erase everyone’s memories, and that was going to be difficult.
“I’ll have to get them each one at a time, in pretty quick succession,” Lockhart murmured to himself, as he thought out his tactics for pulling off such a grand scheme.
The library doors swung open, and Angel entered the room. Noticing Lockhart, he greeted him, asking “Hey, how are you doing after your run-in with Spike?”
“Oh I’m fine, but I’ll be even better after I take care of you.” Lockhart replied, as Angel looked at him quizzically. Lockhart whipped out his wand, pointed it at Angel, and quickly hammered out the words to his memory charm.
“What are you – ” Angel started toward Lockhart but was hit with a beam of light from Lockhart’s wand. He slumped to the ground for a minute and then started moaning in pain.
Odd, Lockhart thought. He’d never seen someone react quite like that to his memory charm. But then again, he’d never used it on a vampire, so there were bound to be some odd side effects.
All of a sudden Angel let out a roar and rose to his feet. His face had changed, and he leered at Lockhart. “I want to thank you for setting me free. God, it feels so good to be rid of that damn soul and that god-awful, whiney, slayer’s puppy Angel,” Angelus sneered at Lockhart as he stepped toward him, baring his teeth. “And to show my gratitude, I’m going to rip your throat out.”
“Hey Angel, are you in here?” Buffy called out as she entered the library. “There you are. I was hoping I’d find you here.” Angelus turned toward Buffy, letting his face return to normal, and smiled.
Grateful for the distraction, Lockhart quickly disapparated. No number of bestsellers were worth hanging around and facing that monster. He’d had enough close calls that evening. In fact, the more he thought about it, vampires weren’t really that interesting. Maybe he’d just write a follow up to Gadding with Ghouls. Yes, that was it. Ghouls were a much better topic, he thought. And much safer.
“What’s up with him?” Buffy asked as Lockhart disappeared.
“I think he’s had his fill of Sunnydale. Probably looking for someplace safer.” Angelus responded as he moved toward Buffy in the darkness of the library. “However, once I find out his address, I’ll make sure to send him a thank you gift.”
“For what?” Buffy asked, puzzled.
“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough,” Angelus soothingly replied as he closed the gap between them and put his arm around Buffy. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
fin
Author:
boy_named_susieFandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Harry Potter
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
Characters: Gilderoy Lockhart, Buffy, Angel, Giles, Cordelia, Xander, Willow
Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart goes to visit an old friend and chaos ensues in Sunnydale.
Written for
emmagrant01 for the btvs_santa exchange.This is my first fic, so feedback is appreciated.
Gilderoy Lockhart was frustrated. How was he supposed to maintain his image as a wizard extraordinaire, with gorgeous smile to match, when he had no new material for his next book? Yes, he had secured the illustrious position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher at Hogwarts, but teaching children how to fend off pixies, which to be honest, he wasn’t that great at, was hardly going to help him win his sixth straight Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award. Of course, Lockhart thought, he didn’t need to do much to win again, as he did possess the most charming smile of anyone he had ever met.
Still, celebrity is celebrity, and Lockhart had no desire to be forgotten by his adoring public while he was buried away at Hogwarts. What he needed was a new book, and as he sat in his office, he pondered his options. Dragons were definitely out. He couldn’t afford to end up with singed hair, not that he would ever get close enough to one for such a travesty to occur. He’d already written about exploits with trolls and ghouls, so they were crossed off his list. Problem was, being at Hogwarts made it awfully difficult to find a poor soul who’d had any sort of interesting adventures that he could credit as his own after firing off one of his patented memory charms.
“What to do, what to do…” he muttered with growing annoyance. Then it hit him. It was so off the wall it just might work. And with holidays coming up, he could certainly get away from school for a few weeks without a problem. It would be a perfect opportunity to pay a visit to his childhood friend Rupert Giles, now living in America, and according to his mother, had recently been promoted, having received a slayer of his very own.
* * * * *
Lockhart and Giles had spent much of their childhood together. The two had been next-door neighbors, and although a wizard family would not usually have associated with a non-wizard family, the Gileses weren’t exactly muggles either. They were part of a long line of watchers, and as such, were not completely blind to the world of magic. There was a great deal of respect between the Watcher’s Council and the Ministry of Magic. Each performed their separate function and didn’t meddle in the other’s affairs. The Watchers oversaw the Slayer and took care of the special problem of vampires and other demons that hunted the human race, while the Ministry of Magic dealt solely with the problems facing the wizarding community.
As a part of this special heritage, Lockhart had been allowed to play with Giles, and the two had been great friends. Once the boys had been sent off to separate schools at the age of eleven, they had seen much less of each other, as each was groomed for their respective careers as a wizard and a watcher, but, Lockhart thought, this just might be the perfect time for them to renew their acquaintance. Surely overseeing a slayer fight off vampires would have gifted Giles with plenty of material that would prove quite interesting for Lockhart’s next bestseller. And hey, even if his visit resulted in the poor man losing his memory, Lockhart knew for a fact that the Watcher’s Council had plenty of spare watchers so the Slayer wouldn’t be left alone for long.
* * * * *
“Buffy, could you please try to concentrate? I would think that the knowledge that William the Bloody, or Spike, as he’s also known, is running amuck in Sunnydale, making you his prime target, would make you more focused on your slaying than on what you are going to be wearing to a dance.” Giles sighed, exasperated.
“Sorry Giles,” Buffy giggled, as she glanced slyly at Willow. “But you’d think that you of all people would understand the importance of looking good at the winter formal. I mean, after all, Ms. Calendar is going to be there chaperoning.”
“That’s right,” Willow piped up. “We should probably be discussing what Giles is wearing for the dance. Of all of us, I think he needs the most help.”
“Please,” Cordelia sneered as she walked into the library. “There isn’t one of you that doesn’t have a major case of fashion disaster. Willow, I wouldn’t even trust you to help a blind man get dressed.”
“So glad you could join us, Cordelia. We were all afraid that a whole day would pass without getting to hear one of your clever insults.” Xander replied.
“Enough!” Giles practically shouted. “We need to be serious and concentrate. We have a grave situation to deal with. And that situation does not involve dresses, makeup, or anything else relating to school dances. There is a very deadly and violent vampire that has set up headquarters here, and if half of what I’ve read about him is true, you are in for a very difficult fight, Buffy, and you need to be prepared.
“Okay, Giles, point taken, I just think…” Buffy was cut off abruptly by a loud cracking sound followed by the appearance of a man dressed in a blue suit, who simply materialized out of thin air. “What the…” she trailed off, mouth gaping.
“Wh-where did he come from?” Xander stuttered.
“It’s a form of travel called apparition young man,” the stranger replied with a smooth English accent. “It is a kind of teleportation, commonly used by wizards such as myself.” The man looked around, spotting Giles instantly. “Ah, Rupert, how nice to see you again,” Lockhart proclaimed, smiling that patented smile of his that drove female witches crazy.
“Gilderoy, how are you?” Giles stammered, clearly taken by surprise. “And what are you doing here? I don’t think I’ve seen you since we were boys.”
“Well, I heard you had been promoted, given your own slayer and moved to California. I thought I would come look you up, and of course, make sure that you had ample copies of all my books on your shelves.” Lockhart said as he glanced around the library.
“You know this guy Giles?” Buffy asked.
“Buffy, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, this is…” Giles started but was cut off by a flourish from Lockhart.
“Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class; Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League; and five-time winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award.” Lockhart rattled off as he made a deep bow, making sure to end with the aforementioned smile.
“Wow, those are quite some… accomplishments?” Buffy guessed.
“So he’s not just a badly dressed man wearing a cape. He’s also a lunatic. Great.” Cordelia muttered.
“Oh those are just a few of my many accomplishments my dear,” Lockhart continued, ignoring Cordelia. “I have also recently taken the sought-after post of Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And in furtherance of educating my dear pupils, I thought I would pay a visit to my dear old friend Rupert to learn about the ins and outs of slaying vampires. It’s a bit archaic to be teaching wizards in training, but I thought I should give my students a well-rounded education, including all facets of defense against the dark arts, demons, vampires, and similar beasts.”
“Your dear old friend Rupert?” Xander questioned.
“Why yes, Rupert and I grew up together, but we were each bound to take our separate paths, myself to become a world famous wizard, saving hoards of people with my amazing wizarding skills, writing best-selling books detailing my many exploits, and of course, being the most handsome wizard with the best smile, while Rupert went on to fulfill his destiny of becoming a watcher.” Lockhart beamed back at the teen.
Buffy turned to Giles with raised eyebrows. “Well maybe you and your dear old friend would like to go catch up. You guys can discuss all the good old times you had playing in your sandbox while wearing matching baby blue suits and the rest of us can finish our plans for the dance.”
“Now hold on Buffy we have a lot of research that still needs to be done.” Giles responded.
“Oh, I have no desire to interrupt anything important you have to do.” Lockhart interjected. “Please carry on. I can busy myself signing the copies of my books that I’m sure Rupert has on the shelves in abundance while you finish your research. I would, however, be honored if you could take me out later and show me just how slaying works.”
“You know, Gilderoy, I’m quite sure we could use your expertise in our current situation.” Giles quickly responded, knowing full well that he didn’t have a single copy of any of Lockhart’s books on the shelves. “And Buffy would love to take you out with her tonight when she goes hunting.”
“I would?” Buffy started, surprised. “You know, Giles, slaying isn’t really a group activity. It’s more of a slayer-vampire activity, and since Mr. Lockhart is neither…”
“Buffy, I’m sure Gilderoy can quite hold his own with a vampire. If half of his exploits detailed in his books are true, he should prove to be quite a valuable asset to you. In fact, he might even be able to teach you a thing or two.”
“Well fine, that’s all settled. Rupert, I’ll stop by your house around seven and we can have a bit of a reunion dinner and then afterwards, Buffy and I will head out to the field.” And with that, there was a loud crack and Lockhart disappeared.
“Geez,” Cordelia asked, “don’t you people know anyone normal?”
* * * * *
As Lockhart sat in Giles’s home, listening to Giles explain how Buffy had fought the Master, died, been brought back to life, and then finally defeated him, Lockhart felt like he’d struck gold. This was going to be his best selling book to date, thanks to the truth serum he’d taken from Snape’s private supply and dropped in Giles’s drink when he wasn’t looking. Giles had quickly and happily answered every question Lockhart had asked, and Lockhart was starting to think that he’d maybe have enough material for two books. Even better, at the rate Giles was spilling secrets about his slayer’s battles, it was looking like Lockhart would get just what he needed at this dinner, could wipe Giles’s memory clean, and take off before the slayer showed up to take him hunting, saving him the trouble of having to actually take the chance of running into a real vampire. Just then the doorbell rang, and Giles got up to answer it.
“Hey Giles,” Buffy greeted him and stepped into the living room.
“Buffy, Angel.” Giles stepped aside to let them enter.
“Uh, Giles, are you going to invite me in?” Angel asked.
“Oh yes, of course, how remiss of me. Come in.” Giles responded.
Rising from his seat, Lockhart demanded, “And why do you, kind sir, need a special invitation? Are you some kind of celebrity?” Lockhart was always on the lookout for meeting fellow celebrities, though in Lockhart’s humble opinion, no star shown quite so bright as his own.
Looking sideways at Buffy, Angel responded, “Well, it’s the whole vampire thing. You know, stake to the heart, can’t walk in the sunlight, and can’t enter a person’s home without an invitation.”
“You’re a vampire?!” Lockhart was shocked. Weren’t Giles and the girl supposed to be killing vampires, not consorting with them? He must have them under some sort of a spell Lockhart thought. His thrall, that’s what it is. Lockhart wondered if the Watcher’s Council had any idea that their Watcher and Slayer were being controlled by a vicious vampire. No matter, he thought. Gilderoy Lockhart was there, and for once, he might actually do something himself that would be worthy of writing about in his next book.
“I will exorcise you both from this fiend’s evil spell!” Lockhart shouted as he pulled out his wand and pointed it at Angel’s head. However, before he could begin uttering a single word, of what spell he wasn’t really quite sure, Buffy was at his side, wrestling the wand out of his grip.
“Hold your horses John Wayne. You know, in order to save someone, it helps for them to actually be in trouble.” Buffy stated as she pocketed Lockhart’s wand.
“This monster has you under his thrall; you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lockhart retorted. “I have done some elementary research on vampires and I know the only reason they associate with humans is for feeding purposes or to turn them.”
“No, really, Angel’s okay. He has a gypsy curse.” Buffy stated matter-of-factly, as if that explained everything.
“The curse restored his soul, Gilderoy,” Giles further expanded on Buffy’s rather cursory statement. “He helps us out, and he’s also Buffy’s boyfriend.” Giles rushed out the last part, trying to gloss it over.
“A slayer in love with a vampire? Interesting.” Lockhart replied, as he inwardly screamed, literary goldmine! His female readers would go crazy when they read all about his torrid but ultimately doomed love affair with a female vampire with a soul. This trip was turning out to be more productive that Lockhart had ever imagined.
* * * * *
“So does this guy seem a bit strange to you?” Buffy whispered to Angel as they walked to the cemetery. Lockhart and Giles trailed behind them, with Lockhart telling endless stories about the time he spent in Prague fighting dragons.
“Not any stranger than any other wizard I’ve met.” Angel responded. “Why?”
“I just have this nagging feeling about this guy. I know he’s an old friend of Giles’s, and his story seems legit. It just seems so odd that he shows up out of nowhere, wanting to learn about slaying vampires. Plus his smile kinda gives me the wiggins.”
“Not the famous award winning smile.” Xander feigned shock, as he and Willow joined Angel and Buffy.
“The very one.” Buffy replied.
“Well I think his smile is nice.” Willow said. “And I found a copy of his biography, Magical Me. It’s really interesting. Did you know that he once was attacked by and fought 6 mountain trolls single handedly?”
“No, but I know that he just tried to ‘exorcise’ me from Angel’s spell.” Buffy joked, and then explained what had occurred.
“I’m sure that was probably just an accident. It’s not like you meet many vampires with souls.” Willow said.
Buffy was about to respond when she was interrupted by loud cry. She took off running in the direction from which it came, the others following closely behind. She quickly dusted the vampire she found preying on a young woman when she heard Spike’s voice.
“Aww, if it isn’t the Slayer and her wandering band of misfits.” Spike leered. Noticing Lockhart, he continued, “So who’s this then? Are you so pathetic at slaying that you need two watchers? Or has lover boy Angel been given his own as a reward for being such a goody-two-shoes disgrace of a vampire?”
“Spike, just who I was hoping to run into this evening.” Buffy retorted. “I have a stake that conveniently has your name on it.”
“Too bad you won’t be using it.” Spike proclaimed as he grabbed Lockhart, who had been standing the closest to him, and held him by the throat. “Let’s say we play a game tonight. It’s called Watch the Watcher Die.”
“Not a watcher, not a watcher.” Lockhart babbled uncontrollably with fear. He peered at Spike’s face out of the corner of his eyes and watched in horror as his face turned, showing the demon within. “Not a watcher,” Lockhart mumbled one last time before everything went black and he fainted.
* * * * *
When he woke up, Lockhart was laying on the ground with Willow, Xander, and Giles hovering over him. “Wh-what happened?” he stammered.
“You were attacked by Spike. Buffy saved you, and then Spike ran off. She and Angel are off looking for him.” Willow answered.
“You’re very lucky to be alive, Gilderoy. Spike is one of the nastiest vampires we’ve come across.” Giles added.
“Yes, well, that was why I pulled off that fake fainting spell back there. Figured I’d get out of the Slayer’s way and let her do her job.” Lockhart blustered, trying to make himself seem like less than a coward than he’d been.
“Fake, huh?” Xander stated as he raised his eyebrows and looked at Lockhart in disbelief. “Then why didn’t you come to ten minutes ago when Spike took off?”
“Well, you see, I have always been a serious actor and I feel that if you are going to act out anything, even something simple and mundane, do it with gusto and bravado. Think of the Bard.” Lockhart blustered on, trying to save a shred of his dignity.
“Well you achieved your goal with that performance then.” Willow said, trying to make Lockhart feel better and pointedly giving Xander a “shut up” look.
“Why don’t we get Gilderoy back to my place so he can rest for a bit?” Giles interceded, helping Lockhart up.
“Good idea,” Willow responded as the four set off.
* * * * *
The next morning Lockhart sat with his head in his hands in the school library. It was 4 am, so the place was deserted. Lockhart kept running over the events of the previous day in his mind. Collect amazing stories of defeating vampires for his next book. Check. Receive wonderful inspiration for a book about a love affair with a female vampire, something which would drive his book sales through the roof and cement his celebrity status forever. Check. Completely embarrass himself by fainting when coming face to face with a vampire. Check. There was just no way around it. He couldn’t let word of his disgrace get out. It would ruin him. He was going to have to erase everyone’s memories, and that was going to be difficult.
“I’ll have to get them each one at a time, in pretty quick succession,” Lockhart murmured to himself, as he thought out his tactics for pulling off such a grand scheme.
The library doors swung open, and Angel entered the room. Noticing Lockhart, he greeted him, asking “Hey, how are you doing after your run-in with Spike?”
“Oh I’m fine, but I’ll be even better after I take care of you.” Lockhart replied, as Angel looked at him quizzically. Lockhart whipped out his wand, pointed it at Angel, and quickly hammered out the words to his memory charm.
“What are you – ” Angel started toward Lockhart but was hit with a beam of light from Lockhart’s wand. He slumped to the ground for a minute and then started moaning in pain.
Odd, Lockhart thought. He’d never seen someone react quite like that to his memory charm. But then again, he’d never used it on a vampire, so there were bound to be some odd side effects.
All of a sudden Angel let out a roar and rose to his feet. His face had changed, and he leered at Lockhart. “I want to thank you for setting me free. God, it feels so good to be rid of that damn soul and that god-awful, whiney, slayer’s puppy Angel,” Angelus sneered at Lockhart as he stepped toward him, baring his teeth. “And to show my gratitude, I’m going to rip your throat out.”
“Hey Angel, are you in here?” Buffy called out as she entered the library. “There you are. I was hoping I’d find you here.” Angelus turned toward Buffy, letting his face return to normal, and smiled.
Grateful for the distraction, Lockhart quickly disapparated. No number of bestsellers were worth hanging around and facing that monster. He’d had enough close calls that evening. In fact, the more he thought about it, vampires weren’t really that interesting. Maybe he’d just write a follow up to Gadding with Ghouls. Yes, that was it. Ghouls were a much better topic, he thought. And much safer.
“What’s up with him?” Buffy asked as Lockhart disappeared.
“I think he’s had his fill of Sunnydale. Probably looking for someplace safer.” Angelus responded as he moved toward Buffy in the darkness of the library. “However, once I find out his address, I’ll make sure to send him a thank you gift.”
“For what?” Buffy asked, puzzled.
“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough,” Angelus soothingly replied as he closed the gap between them and put his arm around Buffy. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
fin
no subject
Date: 2006-12-30 09:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-30 11:40 pm (UTC)