crossoverfic | The Saints of Atlantis 5

Title: The Saints of Atlantis
Fandoms: The Boondock Saints/Stargate Atlantis
Rating: PG15/Teen for violence and swearing
Author: Dragonfan

The mess hall was the place that Conner, Murphy and Romeo were allowed to go with the best light. Between that and the furniture, it was the place they chose to work on their tattoos. In addition to the Celtic crosses on Conner and Murphy’s forearms and Latin words on their trigger fingers, they also had the Virgin Mary on their necks, and a split scene of Jesus being crucified on their backs. Conner had Jesus from the waist up and Murphy had him from the knees down. Murphy also had the name of a deceased childhood friend above his heart and an angel and a devil battling on his back. Romeo had two faces above his heart and a Laraza design that covered most of his shoulders and spine.

Neither of the brothers had realized that their hobby would attract so much attention from the scientist recruits headed for Atlantis. The soldiers they had expected would be interested, but the geeks were another story. They were finding out that the scientists of the SGC were unlike any on Earth, or anywhere else in the universe it seemed. All of them participated in the self-defense exercises with the Marines, and although they often held conversations about subjects that had all three men completely clueless, those who hung around watching the tattoo work were friendly and never talked down to the Saints, especially once some of them learned that Conner and Murphy were fluent in their native language.

Conner was working on Murphy’s back when they saw the captain of the ship for the first time. They had heard of Colonel Caldwell of course, but they hadn’t seen him in person in the week they’d been on board. The stern man came up to watch Conner work, but both brothers were staring intently at him. “If any of my people want you to work on them, keep it within uniform code ok?”

“Aye,” the twins answered. Their stillness and lack of teasing tipped Romeo off to the fact that something was wrong. He had been keeping an eye on their target for the last two days with Major Lorne’s help, but if the Colonel was going to be a target, things were really going to go to shit. Without another word the Colonel left and Conner got back to work.

Back in their cabin hours later Romeo confronted the twins. “Alright what was that all about, because if you want to hit the guy in charge around here, I think they call that mutiny.”

The boys looked at each other, remembering the marks that they had seen around the Colonel. They had never seen marks like that. It was almost as though there were two people inside the same body. “Could he have that split personality stuff?” Murphy asked hesitantly. He didn’t think so, but he wasn’t sure what else could have caused the layered marks, one group of which was that of a good man, and the other, which showed an evil so great that just glimpsing it was sure to haunt his nightmares for years to come.

“Nah,” Conner said, pulling out his holsters. He knew that they didn’t have any ammunition for their Desert Eagles, but he felt a lot more comfortable with two of his guns under his arms and the other two strapped to his thighs. “Do you remember the little grey guy? The one who went and got himself drunk and ended up here as a punishment?”

“Yeah,” Murphy said as he pulled on his own holsters. He fit his knifes into their sheaths. “Wait a minute, you don’t think?”

Conner nodded. “Aye, he’s been taken over by some evil shite.”

“You mean like one of those alien snake things?” Romeo asked. The twins nodded and shuddered in unison. “Can we get it out of him?”

Conner sat down on the bottom bunk. “They won’t believe us. Major Lorne is only going along with watching that other asshole out of boredom and the off chance we’re right.”

“We don’t have any ammo. The only functional weapons we’ve got are my knives,” Murphy paced around, chewing on his finger. “And what could we do even if we had any? We’d just end up killing a good man.” Romeo and Conner just stared into space. It was the first time they’d ever been put in this sort of situation.

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In the end they’d come up with a plan, one that was cobbled together from the reports they had read, what they had to work with, and hours of prayers. Even Conner couldn’t come up with a movie plot to help them out with this one, and Murphy had thought that his brother had one for every occasion. They waited three days until their two targets were in a position where they could be both taken.

Once more the twins were in the mess hall, having staked it out to find out when Caldwell ate his meals. Dressed for a hit, although no one aboard the Daedalus would realize this, in their black turtle necks, jeans, and upper holsters under their P coats, Murphy and Conner walked by the Colonel’s table as though they were headed to get something to eat. As they passed him, each brother grabbed him with both hands and threw him to the floor.

Before anyone else could do more than jump up and yell, Conner had a knife to Caldwell’s throat and Murphy had one at the back of his neck, the tip just touching the base of his skull. Everyone around them froze, unable to see a way to get the brothers away from the Colonel without them killing him. “I still say we should just rip it right out,” Conner said, peering intently at the back of Caldwell’s neck.

“Nah,” Murphy argued. “We should cut it out a little bit at a time. If we rip it out the ends get all jagged and don’t go back together.”

“Yeah, but then everything else turns to soup,” Conner said with a disgusted look on his face. “What’s left after that is just a stringy, gloppy mess. I want something we can pose later.”

While the two continued to argue the pros and cons of surgically removing something verses just ripping it out of a human body, Romeo snuck out from where he had been watching at the other end of the room and went after their other target. He actually had the easier task. No one actually paid much attention to the sergeant, and he was easy to catch alone.

“Oooh look Conn, it wiggled,” Murphy interrupted his brother’s tirade about the nonexistent trophies that he had supposedly ruined with his pickiness. They were ignoring Caldwell’s protests and yelled orders for the Marines to kill the brothers. They knew the Marines had surrounded them, but if their plan worked it wouldn’t matter. Murphy traced what he thought might have been the snake’s appendage, which had moved just slightly. If he hadn’t been glued to every shift of the man’s neck he never would have seen it.

Both twins were far too close not to notice that Murphy’s remark had caused Caldwell to stiffen up. Conner glanced around the room, noticing with relief that Romeo had the sergeant by the door, tied up with Conner’s rope. It was time for him to give up the fake argument with Murphy; which was a good thing, because he was running out of things to say. “Alright, alright go ahead and use your knife you picky bastard.”

Murphy laughed. “Good, I knew you’d see it my way. Now hold him still.” Murphy began cutting into Caldwell’s neck, not deep enough to cause a serious injury, but enough to make everyone believe that he actually was going to dissect the Colonel alive. Caldwell gave a lurch in their grasp and seemed to vomit up a large amount of blood and a long, slinky thing.

This was what they had been waiting for. Instantly Conner and Murphy dropped Caldwell and grabbed onto the alien snake with both hands. “Get him to the docs!” Conner yelled as the snake twisted in their hands trying to escape.

Murphy could see that the Marines’ guns, which just a moment ago had been trained on them, were now aimed directly at the creature in their hands. “Fuck me, I didn’t think it would work. I can’t believe we actually scared the fucking thing out of him.”

“Aye, makes you wonder if the snakes Saint Patrick drove out of Ireland was this sort, doesn’t it?” Conner grinned at the success of their plan. “Rome! Bring that other bastard over here!” he called.

Major Haskel, Caldwell’s second in command came up to the brothers, although he stayed well out of the reach of the snake. “How did you know?”

“We know evil when we see it,” Murphy said, rather than truly explaining. Romeo dragged his prisoner over to the opposite end of the circle of Marines. “Well now Rome, you did a fine job of tying that bastard up.”

“What did he do?” Haskel asked.

“That’s the bastard that was working for this thing,” Conner spat. He looked up at the Major. “I’m sure you’ll find lots of evidence once you go looking for it; but know this, if you don’t deal with the shite, we will.”

With that the twins began their family prayer:

And shepherds we shall be

For Thee, my Lord, for Thee

Power hath descended forth from Thy hand

That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command

So we shall flow a river forth unto Thee

And teeming with souls shall it ever be

In Nomini Patri, et Fili, et Spiritu Sancti

Just as they finished, they tore the snake apart.

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“We’re getting vigilantes? Why do we need vigilantes?” Colonel John Sheppard muttered as he looked over the report he’d just received from the SGC and General O’Neill.

“Something must be unusual about them sir,” Lt. Cadman said from where she was counting the supply of explosives.

Sheppard readily admitted that he hated the paperwork that came with being the CO of a military base. He’d much rather be flying, going on missions or bugging McKay in the labs than do paperwork. That didn’t mean he didn’t do it. He just worked on it where ever he happened to be rather than get trapped in his office. Actually it was more like Lorne’s office; he tended to avoid it as much as possible.

At the moment, he and Cadman were doing inventory in preparation for the arrival of the Daedalus with new Marines, scientists and supplies. “Ah, here it is. Two of them are brothers and they’ve both got the gene almost as strong as I do. From their skill list, it looks like they’ll be spending most of their time working for Elizabeth on the database translation project. Hopefully she’ll be able to keep them in line.”

“Sir, are you saying that we’re getting The Saints of South Boston?” Cadman straightened up and spun around.

“Uh, what?” Sheppard asked, confused as to Cadman’s abrupt change.

“Sir, The Saints are probably the best known vigilantes in the last decade. They went after both the Russian mob and the Italian mafia in South Boston eight years ago. They decimated the Yakavetta crime family, including their don, Poppa Joe Yakavetta. They killed him in the courtroom where he was about to be acquitted for the third time in two years. The cops had piles of evidence and the court was still going to let him walk. They barged into the courtroom, yanked him off the stand and blew his brains out right there in front of everyone. Rumor has it that all three of them are multilingual.”

Sheppard counted back eight years. “I was in Afghanistan back then.”

“I was in basic and the news was full of these guys for over six months,” Cadman remembered.

“Well, I don’t think these are your Saints, only one’s from Boston, the other two are from Ireland.”

“Wanna bet sir? I’ve got a bag of snickers coming in on the Daedalus that says they are.” Cadman wasn’t the only one on base who would bet with their CO, but she was one of the few who were so brazen about it. It was a left over side effect from living in McKay’s brain for a while. Sheppard might be her CO, but she also saw him as a friend through Rodney’s eyes.

Sheppard smirked. Another bag of snickers would put him in good with his geek. Rodney loved snickers as they were one of the few candy bars that worked with his hypoglycemia rather than against it. “You’re on. I’ll throw in one of the cans of coffee I’ve got coming. Deal?”

“Deal, sir.” Grinning they shook on it.