ext_33678 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
stop-no-dont.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crossoverfic2005-01-07 01:33 pm
stop-no-dont.livejournal.com) wrote in crossoverfic2005-01-07 01:33 pm
Entry tags:
More of Clipper III
(x-posting to my own LJ and ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
twsthellmouth)
Previously:
* Prologue
Act I: Hello, Baby, Hello
"You’ve gotta be kidding me," Spike said upon seeing the craft, before pulling a smoke out of his satchel. Spike was sure the ship was smaller than anything he’d ever seen on the telly. And painted a hideous shade of green.
"No joke," Gunn answered, pointing out the NO SMOKING sign in the hangar. "Doctor Scott says this baby can take us where no man -- nor demon -- has gone before." Spike scowled and shelved the unlit cigarette.
From the control room, Everett explained via intercom that the four-person shuttle, though small, was designed for better mileage and speed than anything NASA had ever put together.
"We call it Starbug," he said proudly.
"More like a Space Pinto," Spike muttered, earning him a poke in the ribs from Fred.
The maiden crew was assembled easily: Gunn's enhanced intelligence allowed him to pilot the ship; Wesley would go to cast the trigger spell alerting Fred, Dr. Scott and the 12 assembled clerics to open a return portal, in effect yanking on the tether to get them home. Wesley and Fred shared a brief kiss before he joined Gunn onboard.
"Right, then, warp factor five and all that," Spike said, turning toward the ship before Angel grabbed his shoulder.
"No way," the office head said, before getting cut off by his cellular phone. It was Amy, Harmony's temporary replacement. Spike knew what she was telling him, and resumed his path.
"That meeting's today?" Angel said into the receiver. "Are they sure they can't reschedule?" He closed the phone angrily seconds later, settling the issue. With a grin, Spike waved goodbye from the ship’s hatch. And reminded himself he owed the temp a drink.
The clerics gathered around the small ship and locked hands. With a nod from Wesley, they chanted for half a minute, until Starbug vanished in a flash.
"Maybe they'll trade Spike for Harmony," Angel grumbled. Fred rolled her eyes, before noticing something was off ... She turned to her boss.
"Hey, where's Lorne?" she asked.
****************
The best thing about his android buddy, Dave Lister thought, was his agreeability to even the oddest requests. Like dragging what looked like a dead woman aboard Red Dwarf.
"Let's use the tractor beam," he urged Kryten. Kind of cute, he thought of the strange discovery. In a Neighbours-reject kind of way. He wouldn't have been surprised to learn the ship was still airing on Earth, millions of light years away.
"Maybe it's another cat," The Cat suggested hopefully. In the 20 minutes since the ship's computer, Holly, detected the blonde life form, he'd put on a new suit, brushed his fangs and was currently slicking back his hair. Again. Finally, he thought, somebody who'll appreciate how good I look!
"Dave, I don't detect any life signs," Holly pointed out. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, she probably doesn't even have any money on her."
"We have to. Dead or not, this is the first person we've seen since Rimmer left," Lister answered, before noticing his feline friend eyeing him. "If she is human, anyway." A few seconds later, Holly confirmed the life form was safely aboard, though unconscious. The crew decided to leave her in the detox chamber for the time being; it gave them more time to clean up the ship.
****************
The Captain noticed Red Dwarf’s capture from the safety of his quarters -- and his ship's cloaking device. He pressed a button to signal the helm. They were to maintain pace with the alien vessel and close in slowly, before taking it, and what -- whom -- he considered his by right.
*****************
More than a century ago, Spike recalled to himself, when he was still a human boy named William, he used to sit outside his London flat with his mother, watching the stars and wondering what kind of wonders lay among them. As Starbug exited the portal, he wondered if any children back home were having those types of talks with their own mums. Of course, he didn't share that with the blokes sitting in front of him; it'd only damage his reputation.
The rest of the crew was similarly quiet, until they heard a familiar voice coming from behind Spike.
"It's safe now, right?" Lorne asked upon entering the bridge, wiping his mouth with his hankerchief. "Oh, and uh, you may want to watch your step back here." He waved his arm around the rear of the craft. "My breakfast took a curtain call a few minutes ago." He sat down beside Spike, who handed out shot glasses and opened his bag. Wesley started to say something, but it was too late to protest Lorne's stowing away.
"Didn't think this crate would have a mini-bar, so I came prepared," Spike explained, pouring tequila into each glass.
"Not me, I’m driving," Gunn said, not really meaning it.
"You should drink more than any of us, Charley-boy" Spike teased. "It'll make the space cop pull us over. You know, bring him to us." Gunn chuckled and took his glass, setting the cruise control. After quick toasts to space, and to being on the road, the lawyer decided he had to set some ground rules before getting something off his chest.
"You all know whatever happens on the road stays on the road, right?" he asked the group. They all nodded affirmatively.
"Good," Gunn concluded. Then he launched into song:
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship's a beauty;
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.
Upon hearing Lorne join in, Spike slumped down in his seat. "Not bloody H.M.S. Pinafore," he muttered to himself. Then he heard Wesley join in. Finally, he reasoned, If it stays on the road ... and he knew he could trust these three to keep a secret ... Oh, hell.
Ahoy! Ahoy! The balls whistle free
Ahoy! Ahoy! O’er the bright blue sea,
We stand to our guns, to our guns all day.
As Spike joined the song, Gunn suddenly remembered to forget about one of Dr. Scott’s smaller installments to the ship.
twsthellmouth)Previously:
* Prologue
Act I: Hello, Baby, Hello
"You’ve gotta be kidding me," Spike said upon seeing the craft, before pulling a smoke out of his satchel. Spike was sure the ship was smaller than anything he’d ever seen on the telly. And painted a hideous shade of green.
"No joke," Gunn answered, pointing out the NO SMOKING sign in the hangar. "Doctor Scott says this baby can take us where no man -- nor demon -- has gone before." Spike scowled and shelved the unlit cigarette.
From the control room, Everett explained via intercom that the four-person shuttle, though small, was designed for better mileage and speed than anything NASA had ever put together.
"We call it Starbug," he said proudly.
"More like a Space Pinto," Spike muttered, earning him a poke in the ribs from Fred.
The maiden crew was assembled easily: Gunn's enhanced intelligence allowed him to pilot the ship; Wesley would go to cast the trigger spell alerting Fred, Dr. Scott and the 12 assembled clerics to open a return portal, in effect yanking on the tether to get them home. Wesley and Fred shared a brief kiss before he joined Gunn onboard.
"Right, then, warp factor five and all that," Spike said, turning toward the ship before Angel grabbed his shoulder.
"No way," the office head said, before getting cut off by his cellular phone. It was Amy, Harmony's temporary replacement. Spike knew what she was telling him, and resumed his path.
"That meeting's today?" Angel said into the receiver. "Are they sure they can't reschedule?" He closed the phone angrily seconds later, settling the issue. With a grin, Spike waved goodbye from the ship’s hatch. And reminded himself he owed the temp a drink.
The clerics gathered around the small ship and locked hands. With a nod from Wesley, they chanted for half a minute, until Starbug vanished in a flash.
"Maybe they'll trade Spike for Harmony," Angel grumbled. Fred rolled her eyes, before noticing something was off ... She turned to her boss.
"Hey, where's Lorne?" she asked.
****************
The best thing about his android buddy, Dave Lister thought, was his agreeability to even the oddest requests. Like dragging what looked like a dead woman aboard Red Dwarf.
"Let's use the tractor beam," he urged Kryten. Kind of cute, he thought of the strange discovery. In a Neighbours-reject kind of way. He wouldn't have been surprised to learn the ship was still airing on Earth, millions of light years away.
"Maybe it's another cat," The Cat suggested hopefully. In the 20 minutes since the ship's computer, Holly, detected the blonde life form, he'd put on a new suit, brushed his fangs and was currently slicking back his hair. Again. Finally, he thought, somebody who'll appreciate how good I look!
"Dave, I don't detect any life signs," Holly pointed out. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, she probably doesn't even have any money on her."
"We have to. Dead or not, this is the first person we've seen since Rimmer left," Lister answered, before noticing his feline friend eyeing him. "If she is human, anyway." A few seconds later, Holly confirmed the life form was safely aboard, though unconscious. The crew decided to leave her in the detox chamber for the time being; it gave them more time to clean up the ship.
****************
The Captain noticed Red Dwarf’s capture from the safety of his quarters -- and his ship's cloaking device. He pressed a button to signal the helm. They were to maintain pace with the alien vessel and close in slowly, before taking it, and what -- whom -- he considered his by right.
*****************
More than a century ago, Spike recalled to himself, when he was still a human boy named William, he used to sit outside his London flat with his mother, watching the stars and wondering what kind of wonders lay among them. As Starbug exited the portal, he wondered if any children back home were having those types of talks with their own mums. Of course, he didn't share that with the blokes sitting in front of him; it'd only damage his reputation.
The rest of the crew was similarly quiet, until they heard a familiar voice coming from behind Spike.
"It's safe now, right?" Lorne asked upon entering the bridge, wiping his mouth with his hankerchief. "Oh, and uh, you may want to watch your step back here." He waved his arm around the rear of the craft. "My breakfast took a curtain call a few minutes ago." He sat down beside Spike, who handed out shot glasses and opened his bag. Wesley started to say something, but it was too late to protest Lorne's stowing away.
"Didn't think this crate would have a mini-bar, so I came prepared," Spike explained, pouring tequila into each glass.
"Not me, I’m driving," Gunn said, not really meaning it.
"You should drink more than any of us, Charley-boy" Spike teased. "It'll make the space cop pull us over. You know, bring him to us." Gunn chuckled and took his glass, setting the cruise control. After quick toasts to space, and to being on the road, the lawyer decided he had to set some ground rules before getting something off his chest.
"You all know whatever happens on the road stays on the road, right?" he asked the group. They all nodded affirmatively.
"Good," Gunn concluded. Then he launched into song:
We sail the ocean blue,
And our saucy ship's a beauty;
We're sober men and true,
And attentive to our duty.
Upon hearing Lorne join in, Spike slumped down in his seat. "Not bloody H.M.S. Pinafore," he muttered to himself. Then he heard Wesley join in. Finally, he reasoned, If it stays on the road ... and he knew he could trust these three to keep a secret ... Oh, hell.
Ahoy! Ahoy! The balls whistle free
Ahoy! Ahoy! O’er the bright blue sea,
We stand to our guns, to our guns all day.
As Spike joined the song, Gunn suddenly remembered to forget about one of Dr. Scott’s smaller installments to the ship.